Every evening, said the S. Curé d’Ars, think over what you have done during the day, and each month over the month and each year over the year. Thus you cannot fail to correct yourself and when death comes you will be ready and happy to go to Heaven.
Of course, such an assessment of one’s conscience does depend on being serious and objective about it; but it has to be a self-evidently good thing for us all to do.
I do try – although I think I don’t succeed particularly well – to do it; and to recognize my failings and shortcomings : and I hope and pray that, as a result, I do slowly improve myself and move a (very) little closer to God’s will for me.
The trouble is that it tends to make me notice what appear to be shortcomings in other people’s conduct as well . . . and whilst I accept that this is itself a shortcoming in me, I do try to learn from what I perceive as their shortcomings too.
What saddens me is when they appear not to care about them . . . but at the same time it also worries me, because it makes me wonder whether my perception of their conduct as wrong is itself wrong, which must call my own assessment of my own conduct into question.
It’s difficult . . . especially when they’re people who I ought to be able to rely on as providing a good example.
Oh dear . . . how difficult.